He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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