It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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