Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
