Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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