My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can text with my tongue
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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