at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
