I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
