he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
