How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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