Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
