i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
