So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
