Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
