i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
