Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Kiss
Puke
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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