ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
