When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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