I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
