I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize