You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
