I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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