i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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