and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My dick has a subreddit
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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