omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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