My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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