its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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