Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
