i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
