Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
