Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
