He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
