Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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