Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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