I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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