I want to have your abortion
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
