i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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