....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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