All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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