the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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