it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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