i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize