At least make sure they are 18
Why
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
