btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
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Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize