Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
