We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
