Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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