Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
