guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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