Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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