i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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