I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
