dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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