yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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