wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
