I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
