Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
