MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
