Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
