Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
