Yo dont text me then not text me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
