You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
