morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
